Generally, for none parents, dating has increasingly become a difficult affair. But it seems even more difficult when one is a single mother. Unlike single fathers, who always move on almost immediately things fall apart, single mothers have it difficult. Little wonder then, that, we have numerous cases of women who, sadly, remain single mothers forever. Unfortunately, single women may be sabotaging their relationships. Here’s why:
1. They believe all men only want sex
A good number of single mothers shortchange themselves by adopting this terrible attitude towards men. Just because you had this nasty experience with the father to your child(ren), doesn’t mean all men are ‘beasts’. Thing is, there are many great men out there. Some are genuinely looking for love, regular companionship and honestly desire to form families. Actually, sex is the last thing on their minds. Contrary to popular female belief, to such men, sex is just the icing on the cake; it’s not the cake itself.
2. Introducing them to your children too soon
It is important to examine how your kid(s) would get along with your new man. But this requires a lot of tact because it can be tricky. Just because a man has claimed that he loves kids doesn’t mean you drag all your three kids to the first date or out of town treat he offers. You can imagine what it would look like when two months down the line you break up and the kids cannot stop nagging you, asking where he is.
3. Making your new boyfriend a co-parent
Parenting is a difficult task and I kid you no man wants baptism by fire in as far as co-parenting is concerned. Try and resist the temptation to ask for school fees the very evening after the first date. Before making him share the parenting responsibilities with you, wait for the right time, which is a certain point where every sensible man normally begins to feel stupid for not helping!
4. Sacrificing yourself for your children
It’s common to see single mothers repeatedly use their child(ren) as excuses not to fully live their social life. Well, we know your kid(s) grabs virtually every second of your free time and the situation is so tricky that even creating time for yourself and some for a potential suitor becomes almost impossible. But remember you are a social being. Don’t end up enslaving yourself and screwing up your social life, just because of your children.
5. Not coming clean about the ex
If there is a reckless mistake single mums always make is hoarding information about their baby daddies. If your baby daddy is still in the picture, let your new man know and get used to it. If yes, in what capacity? Because no man wants to make an impromptu visit, only to bump into some hairy dude in a vest, rolling on the carpet in the name of playing with the children.